1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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