Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm jealous of your bromance
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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