i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
