Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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