Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
