Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
my being single is dangerous.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
