I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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