im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
