and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
