I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
