I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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