Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
This baby is an asshole
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize