I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize