She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
