Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
