I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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