Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
