Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
