Hey man sorry I got all grabby
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
