Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
