girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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