That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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