Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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