your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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