Having a random hookup so left but love u
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
