Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
