She announced her abortion via fbk
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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