yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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