Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
