So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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