We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
