the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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