how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I don't deserve a penis
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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