i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
