Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
