She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
