I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I want her autograph on my taint
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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