I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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