even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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