If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
