And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
