i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Randomize
