He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
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