my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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