You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
