sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
