No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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