Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Panties = found
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
