btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
