Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
