Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
