Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The uberlube is also flammable
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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