our cab driver is having phone sex.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
