Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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