we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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