thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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