You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
