how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
