Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
