So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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