my mouth tastes like poor choices
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
