The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
